Why is it that whenever you make some kind of decision that you are sure will take you in a specific direction, it often immediately seems to have the opposite effect?
When we first started thinking about homeschooling we dreamed idyllic scenes of family bonding; contented, happy, confident children; a serene, peaceful MommaT. What we’ve had instead in the last few days is crotchety, overly sensitive kids; family squabbling at unusual levels; a violently unsettled TeppityBoy, and an irritable, hypercritical MommaT! All of this culminated today in an “incident” at pre-school where MissGeorgie very uncharacteristically chose to resolve a squabble by biting another child’s hand – a sure sign that all is not well in the family “kraal”.
Admittedly we are under the stress that making a big life-style change inevetably brings, but I don’t think I’ve been as “big” about it as I should have been. I’ve been gluing myself to books and pillaging the internet for days on end, pretty much leaving the sprouts to their own devices for hours, and rebuking them for interrupting.
I’m someone who wants to research and know as much as possible about a subject before even moving a finger, and there’s nothing wrong with that in principle. But when it works directly against the bigger picture, when it produces opposite outcomes, then something is wrong.
So I’m realising I’m going to have to challenge myself to grow a bit more. I’m going to have to resist my natural inclinations: take it slow, relax, go with the flow a bit more – maybe even try a bit of trial-and-error when we officially begin. (DrT will tell you this is going very much against the grain. As soon as the caffeine has begun its work in the morning I’m making lists!) Hopefully my discomfort at not having everything completely planned, organised, filed, labeled and controlled will be offset by four little content, loved and enthusiastic little faces come April 15.
Take a deep breath MommaT…
The Zoo at Home 